how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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