At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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