I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My feet surprised me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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