He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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