I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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