I puked a lego.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
