ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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