The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We are all done wearing pants today
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
