Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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