I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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