Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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