That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
