bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
