I cannot find my penis.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
