Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
