Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
