Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
