dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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