We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
