HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
