She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
