my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
