I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I want a musical about memes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
