Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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