I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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