Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
