It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
