Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Please don't give away my fajitas
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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