Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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