I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
