The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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