whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
