in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
