I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
