you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
