4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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