I got chris browned last night
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
