READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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