I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
