I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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