Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
