Will you blow on my dice?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
