Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
