he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
