oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So many bounce houses so little time
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Couch. On fire.
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