I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
