I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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