just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
