Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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