Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
