either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
