Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
