Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
